Thursday, November 30, 2006

NEWSPAPER EXTRACTS

The following newspaper extracts, headlines, etc. are written in such a way that there is an extra unexpected meaning to the one that was intended- often with amusing results!


1. The death of the Prime Minister was the turning point in his life.

2. FOR SALE: a baby's high chair that can be made into a table, pushchair, potty, rocking horse, vacuum cleaner, fur coat and Elvis Presley CD.

3. The bride was wearing an old lace gown that fell to the floor as she walked down the aisle.

4. Migraines strike twice as many women as do men.

5. MILKDRINKERS ARE TURNING TO POWDER

6. Two cars were reported stolen by the Surrey police yesterday.

7. The patient was referred to a psychiatrist with severe emotional problem.

8. A 30 year-old Copenhagen man was found murdered by his parents in his home last night.

9. KICKING BABY CONSIDERED TO BE HEALTHY

10. That summer I finally got my leg operated on. What a relief! It had been hanging over my head for years.

11. An oil spill was first reported to the Coast Guard by a man who saw oil covered rocks walking along the shore.

12. He ran outside and chased the burglar with a baseball bat in his underwear.

13. Delightful country cottage, 2 bedrooms, large lounge, kitchen, bathroom, coloured suite, toilet 5 miles away from CBD Auckland.

14. Unemployed man seeks work. Completely honest and trustworthy, will take anything.

15. LENIN's BODY MOVED

16. 1929 Rolls-Royce hearse for sale. Original body.

17. I have just heard that we do have film of the astronaut's breakfast, which should be comingup shortly.

18. She has visited the cemetery where her husband was burried on a number of occasions.

19. NEWYORK BAN ON BOXING AFTER DEATH

20. TOILETS OUT OF ORDER, please use platforms 7-8.

No comments: